Manish Lamichhane's Blog Web Developer & Enthusiast

And I stood still for a moment, to slow down the pace,

the swift speed I was in, changed the beauty of stillness,

stillness, which I adored so much,

It endowed me a moment of grace, a moment of purity

and now I feel alive again,

Just now I realized, that it has been a while,

since I last heard the voices, the echos,

of the thousands of expressions within,

and now when I go back again,

into the depth in search of them,

a divine feeling takes over,

and now I feel alive again,

(The meta-emotions of this poetry)

(line 1: the interview of Abhi Subedi is coming in my mind)

(line 2: I see the images of Tinkune while writing this line)

(Line 4, specifically the word PURITY: Leonardo Dicaprio in Basketball diaries comes up)

(Line 5: ….)

(Line 7: pink floyd)

(Line 9: a strong desire to rhyme the paragraph ending takes over)

(Line 11: I don’t know if it’s something I really feel, or my desire to make it sound beautiful)

It was a usual day of my life in which something unusual happened.Well it’s the happening of my bachelors days.Things were running cool till the POST BREAK periods.We used to have 8 periods those days.Now right after the lunch break, I was busy with my ordinary gossips with my friends when I felt a pain as if a throne has pricked me from underneath…. Wow I was feeling it deep inside me.Not bothering myself much about it I carried on with my lecture on the generally unacceptable things (of matured adolescence, you know). Our lecturer entered the zoo and was duteous as usual.Now my lecture was surpassed by the authorized one’s.I started feeling uneasy,not because my words were dominated but because something else was going on with me.The pain was increasing,making its way from my stomach towards the downward portion.I, then with all my senses, finally realized that I was in any emergency situation and my body really needed to reduce its weight,Oh my god I really needed to shit out the pain from the private lower door!!!God was with me then, at least I think so because with my realization the bell(indicating the end of the period) rang. But I think at that time I understood the meaning of the saying “God helps those, who help themselves,”. As said earlier, my class was a zoo and I was surrounded by those humans who, at times, on getting opportunity turned into a lethal beast.If I hit the road for my destination, that would be the opportunity for them which they were always seeking for.So due to that torturophobia I could not gather my wits to dare the undareable (undareable act for my class). Now started the worst hour of my life…..the pain through which I had to pass was hills and mountains compared to what I had thought would be.Then came into the scene my English lecturer and the man responsible to make me attached to my chair in those hour of extremities.(else I would have out of there in an instant heading towards my destination). He also showed his duteous character and I was getting out of control,out of my nerves actually, as the pressure inside me had reached to its peak. I started getting the downwards attacks and my open fingers curled with each other to defend the attacks as strongly as possible as a result of which my whole body started rocking as if an internal earthquake was taking place within me at times which no other being in the class could experience, the victim was me and only me.The civil war inside me which I was fighting with own self , produced enough heat to undress me in those cold December days. I had started getting stares from my neighbours which added the pressure as I now had to dodge them too. I converted the heat energy generated within me into sound energy by asking the time with one of my companions. After getting the reply I carried on with my battle. The burning heat made me throw off my muffler and I got interrogated if I was stripping in the class!!!The weight within me would attack and pressurize the door to knock it open and the uppermost part had to dramatize the expressions as if nothing had happened and things were normal to the extent to which they never were!! Suddenly everything was put to a dead end as if a full stop had been put to it. And I was dropped back to reality. I then asked the time again and to my surprise only one and a half minutes had passed.Now came in the limelight that another mightiest enemy of mine, the time.My stay with the reality was short as the lightening…and it was the calm before the storm!!! I had only just started enjoying my companionship with the painless minutes when the pressure rich of pain started as a Tsunami and this time I found myself weak enough in front of its immense strength!! My door of hope,the door of protection which was holding my prestige till then was trembling like the papers of a textbook kept in the window in the months of MAY JUNE. I had thoughts aroused somewhere in my busy mind about giving up but again second thoughts of the disastrous consequence came in with a small video footage of me standing in the front of the class tied in the ropes in front of the beasts who are ready with their weapon of words to fire at me,which made me to have a third thought to quit the first one and carry on with the second one.But unluckily my physical aspect was just ready to give up when the final bell rang,which I call “the bell of relief”. One of my enemy,time,was in its knees now and I was at a bit of ease.So fully utilizing the time I ran towards my heaven and its heavenly pleasures which I was going to gain by losing the reason of the battle,the reason of the pain.I was getting nearer and nearer to my goal.Finally, standing at the doorway I came to realized that…………………heaven actually smelled phenol !!! Luckily there was no other guy in that block who fighting the same battle as I was.I then finally with head high up in the air like that of the king sitting on the throne…the ownership of which puts the battle to a dead end making me the one and only winner.My victory was celebrated with all sorts of sounds made up of all sorts of musical notes possible (which were sometimes flat like PUNWAA and some times sharp like PAT TA TA TA TA TA PATTPATTTTTTTTTTTT)which were the sound of the pain and the weight within me being released by my MOST STRONGEST DOOR HAVING INCOMPARABLE ENDURANCE AND STAMINA!!!!!! And believe me those extraterrestrial noises……… were MUSIC TO MY EARS at that period. I was only just enjoying my throne when the intruders of the peace arrived who were there to flood out the heaven with the natural H2O oozing from their water resources.It was a shame to be in front of them and have the soap in hand as they would suspect my long stay in the throne and all my conspiracies to hide the secret would go in vain. SO I holded my lines and waited inside heaven waiting for the right time to plunge back to earth from the heavenly pleasures.The bell indicating the end of the break periods rang and every face in the wash room moved back to their respective destinations which was when I decided to emerge……………………I then joined the herd of the animals(of which I was a part but this time I was their unidentified victim as well) with a proud look.Someone from the pack fired ”u’r lookin a bit different,and…and……… proud …..as if ya have won a war……. and where were u all this time……….”. I replied with a grim demonstrating all my yellow enamel assets…………………………..PROUDLY AS IF I HAD WON A WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

– M. LAMICHHANE